The road(s) not taken...

I was looking at my friend L's facebook page today...  She is expecting a baby very soon, so I was looking to see if she had had her little girl yet.  Which is hard enough, painful enough.  Then I started looking at some of her facebook photos and I saw 2 girls she became best friends with after I left...  And all the photos of her having fun with, and hanging out with, so many girlfriends, and it made me feel very sad.  I can't help but wonder what my life would have been like, if things had been different, if she & I had stayed friends...  If I had stayed outgoing, social, like I was with her, would that have been my life too?  Would I have friends now?  Would it be so hard for me...  Would I be so alone?  How different would/could my life have been, if only the things that happened to me, hadn't happened to me?  Useless thinking I know, but it makes me wonder who I could have been, if I had not been traumatized.  Could I have been like her?  Would we still be best friends, instead of virtual strangers?  Would I know some of the girls in those pictures?  Would I have experienced "having fun"?  Would I know what that was?